Riverdale 2.11 The Wrestler

Just a reminder, Shane Lee's text is Blue, Syd's is pink text and show quotes are white text!

• OMG you guys Hal made a facial expression tonight and you’ll never believe why?! Before we get to that we must talk about the Kool-Aid hair boy who dominated tonight’s episode trying to impress his girlfriend’s law breaking father.
  
• I love Riverdale, I honestly do and I know Archis is the star, but I just can’t with this Archie and the FBI story. Agent Adams comes of as . . . untruthful to me and I would just love if he were a figment of Archie’s imagination.
  
• So, who knew I have something in common with Hiram The Ram Lodge: we both dislike Archie! Archie thinks this is all of sudden but we all knew Hiram (and I) felt this way for a long time. So, Archie tries to impress him by wrestling team. Like his music career, everyone else could do it better: Right Kevin? Right Hiram? Right Chuck?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Okay, so he ends up beating Chuck, by some miracle, but let’s examine some of the riveting dialogue that came from this thrilling story:
  
  
  
  
• And of course this future Hallmark card . . .
  
• In the end, Archie ignores a call from the FBI to . . . intern with Hiram The Ram Lodge, but let’s all be thankful that Archie dropped this ideal of a music career.
  
  
  
  
• The real meat of this episode surrounded the Pickens Day celebration. General Pickens founded Riverdale and by founded I mean stole the land from the tribe that were on it first and then proceeded to slaughter many of them, all on the orders of Great, great Grandpappy Barnabas B Blossom. Anyway, Juggy learns this when he interviews Toni’s grandfather, Grandpa Topaz, founder of the South Side Serpents.
  
• The Southside Serpents was formed to keep the remaining tribe together, and Juggy writes all of this in the Blue & Gold which does more bad than good.
  
• Elsewhere, V wants Josie to reunite with Pussycats and herself for a performance on Pickens Day celebration. Mayor McCoy was all like
  
• Later, after a stern talking to by her mother, Josie pulls out of the performance due to being manipulated by V? Yeah I didn’t get that either.
  
• And if all of this wasn’t enough, The Coopers adjusted to life with Chic, who Kevin spilled the beans on for being a webcam boy. This doesn’t stop B from trying to relate. She even gives him a laptop when his is taken, so he could continue webcaming.
  
• Hal had no interest in Chic but you wouldn’t have known that by his face.
  
• Pickens Day finally arrives, complete with V and the Pussycats! Josie face was all of our faces.
  
• Hal crashed the party to expose Chic but Alice was having none of it! Can we just take a moment to appreciate Alice Cooper telling Hal off again! Love it!
  
• Apparently so does Penelope Blossom!
  
• The South Side Serpents arrive to peacefully protest Pickens Day and tell the truth of what General Pickens really did.
  
• Hiram turns the tables announcing the formation of a new Southside, Sodale.
  
• As the episode ends we discover the one person who can make show some emotion: Penelope and OMG I am so into this scandal of Mr. Cooper and Mrs. Blossom!
  
• Chic confessed to B, about the webcamming and also watching her sleep. He has the same darkness inside of him that she has, that she fears and that she wants to understand, yet escape. So he decides to show her how to webcam!
  
• Someone, I am sure Reggie or some other Northside resident decapitated that Pickens Statue in what will surely escalate the North and South side war! Who could have done it (rolls eyes at list of suspects)
  

*****Extra Tidbiuts*****

• Mayor McCoy’s real name is Ciera and I love that Heromine now refers to her as just Ciera!
  
  
  
• We had another Please God, no, don’t let Archie sing, but I hope these moments go away now.
  
• Penelope was most proud that the Blossoms even ran a brothel- just LOL at her owning what she does!
  
• Cheryl didn’t disappoint when she joined the protest sans candy apple.
  
• In case you missed it, Riverdale will do a musical episode where Riverdale High puts on Carrie the musical and how awesome is it that Cheryl will be Carrie and Alice will play Mrs. White! This is the best thing we could have asked for!

That’s all for this week! Until next week, stay #RiverdaleSrong

Hello all, and welcome back!

Seriously though! Every single week at the end of each episode this scene from Gladiator pops into my brain. I can't think of a more entertaining show on television right now. At least not one that I currently watch.

It's really late and I've waited entirely too long to watch the newest episode and right this review, so I think, instead of fully reviewing the episode, I will just create a theme for my thoughts and discuss those. The theme will be......"why do I like you this week, but hate you the next?"

I go back and forth with all of these characters. I really love some of them one week, but by the next week their relationship dynamics have changed because they all have drama with different characters each episode, So for example, if Hermione is up against Veronica one week, I will always take Ronnie's side and I am usually left hating Hermione for whatever beef she had with my girl. But say the next week Hermione is put up against Hiram, in which case I always take Hermione's side. So my trump characters are always Alice, Betty, and Veronica. Papa Jug usually too. If any of my trump characters are arguing with each other I somehow manage to see both points of view, because I love them dearly. So this week I had unusually strong feelings for Hermione.

I don't know how this woman does it. I get these completely evil and psychotic vibes from her at times, and then I jump to the other extreme and have complete sympathy for her. Is this what they want? I really don't know. But in last week's episode I felt for her. I felt for her in the last few minutes when she looked a little uncomfortable that Hiram was going to go after the serpents hardcore after the discovery of the headless statue in the park. Is this confirmation of Hermione's awareness? Does she know this is wrong and Hiram is bad? Sometimes I feel like Hermione knows Hiram is bad and doesn't care, sometimes I feel like she doesn't know he is bad and she is in that relationship because she isn't aware, and sometimes I feel like she knows and feels powerless to escape or do anything about it. This is a huge part of my back and forth on her. I also felt for her when showed a protectiveness over Veronica when the mayor expressed her disapproval of Veronica's involvement in Lodge Industries. I'm not completely naive, I know it's possible that it wasn't genuine and she was manipulating Ronnie. I'm gonna live in the moment though and be happy that I got to see a brief mother daughter bond form between these two, and I expect everyone to allow me to do that.

I'm really back and forth on Archie. Last week I was so annoyed with him and his FBI story that I almost started to forward through his scenes. I was so annoyed with him that when I saw the clips of Hiram wrestling him and threatening him on facebook before I watched the episode, I was excited to see Hiram kicking his ass. But then I watched the and I found myself rooting for Archie over Hiram. I think when Archie is doing dumb things, like talking to strangers who claim to be FBI agents I just can't tolerate him. I know Archie's whole agenda is wrapped up in the FBI thing, but for some reason this week I didn't mind. When he told Kevin that his issues with Mr. Lodge became personal, I believed him. That's really all it took. I can get on board with him trying to prove himself. I kind of go back and forth on Mama Blossom too.

I really enjoy it when she and Cheryl bicker. They are both really stubborn and insane, which makes it all very entertaining. Remember the episode where Cheryl spent the last of their money on a ridiculous Christmas tree? And Cheryl complained that her mother needed a job? And to retaliate Mama Blossom started sleeping with men for money, much to the dismay of Cheryl, because it embarrassed her deeply? Yeah. I really like it when they fight. I really enjoy Mama Blossom in those types of episodes. And it's amusing to me how Penelope just doesn't care about her lifestyle anymore. She just owns all of it. I think she's moved into this phase where she has no shame. But she is trying to bed Hal now and that's where I draw the line, because why? Why would you do this, Penelope? Why Hal? Sleep with the entire town of Riverdale, but please not Hal. I think that's where I lose respect for you. Hal is so whiny. Just don't.  

I can beg and plead with myself hoping this doesn't happen, but I have a feeling it will. I honestly don't even know if Alice would be that upset, though. We all remember the chemistry between Alice and FP earlier this season, don't we? Yeah, I think Alice would probably thank Penelope for this one.

So I think that's it from me this week. That's all I got. I really wanna conclude this a little better, but a dog is currently trying to get in my lap and her butt is nearing the keyboard so I think I'll just stop here.

See you next week! Hopefully for a full episode review!

Riverdale 2.10 The Blackboard Jungle

Riverdale came and packed with fun, new mysteries and exciting plot twists. THe FBI are after the worst parents ever, there’s a new Cooper in town what exactly are the real reasons that Southside High closed? Let’s dive in?

• Remember how in the first season Alice wanted Southside High shut down? Well that happened thanks to Mayor McCoy (and of course the Lodges in secret) and all of our favorite Serpents were sent to Riverdale High.
  
• V leads the welcoming committee, in part to help further her parent’s plans along, but I’d also like to think she’s also a good person too.
  
• Some people, mainly Cheryl and Reggie, have major issues with this because . . . Serpents are bad! Fierce Cheryl is my favorite Cheryl and she is all sorts of fierce when she wants to keep her North side separate from the south side.
  
• Reggie later obviously vandalizes the school and blames it on the Serpents which prompts Principle Oblivious to ban all Serpent related clothes.
  
• Toni is totally cool about the dress code change and I love that about her!
  
• Reggie, as Juggy rebelled by wearing his jacket, started a shoving fight where Principle oblivious gave Juggy a choice: Suspension or remove his jacket. Juggy was going to take suspension until FP talked some sense into him.
  
  
  
  
• So, Juggy started a new club, Serpents and Swords, that totally has nothing to do with the being a Southside Serpent and is totally a role playing club . . .
  
• What did the other half of #Bughead do all this time? She found her long lost brother in record time, even for Riverdale!
  
• Charles Smith, aka Chic Cooper was never adopted and only lives two towns over. He works as fantasy fulfillment.
  
• Oh-And Hal totally wanted nothing to do with him but Alice totally does. I’m still hoping for a Alice & FP pairing, so Chic should be the favorite child because come on, he’s totally their love child . . .
• Anyway, B saves Chic from a thug who stabbed him in the shoulder and takes him to the nearest hospital back home to her parents, where Hal pulls all of the resources to save him.
  
• FInally, our favorite Kool-Aid colored hair guy was approached by the FBI who want to take the Lodges down! I’m all for this story but the FBI needing Archie’s help is a littlle LOL. I mean they couldn’t plant a guy of their own . . .
  
• Anyway, Archie’s first assignment is to find out what really happened to Nick St. Claire. So Archikens does what anyone do; he totally nonchalantly asks.
  
  
  
  
• When Cheryl blackmails Archie to join the side of the Northside vs Southside, she accidentally tells him Nick assaulted V, which sends Archie into a rage up to see Nick.
  
• Archie decides to to help get money for Cheryl too and visits Nick.
• He gets the check for double the money and then for about one minute inquires what really happened to Nick. When the douche is a douche, Archie beats him up.
  
  
  
  
• V confronts Archie about beating Nick up, to which Cheryl saves the day by confessing that she sent him to get her hush money check back, because Cheryl is a good friend.
  
• Later, at Pop’s Archie tells V that he kissed B and while she wasn’t happy, they talked it out and she accepted his apology. #Maturity
  
• Cheryl gives the check to her mom the check in hopes that she quit her . . .night job of being a Riverdale escort, but her mom was like LOL no!
  
• Archie decides to work with the FBI if V and Fred are granted immunity, but then Archie and I agreed on something for the like the first time ever! He confided into the FBI that he believes they may not have got the right guy as the Blackhood!
  
• So who is creepy enough to have a dark obsession with B and be the real Blackhood?  I mean is there anyone creepy in town that fits this description? Anyone . . .
  

*****Extra tidbits*****

• Anyone else get a flashback to the Boonedocks, circa season one when Cheryl’s mom was all like
  
• That mini heart attack when Archie grabs his guitar and says he wants to start a band . . .
  
• Is the whiteworm really so bad if it has cool arcade games?
  
• I’m not going to lie, when Chic first called himself Chic, I thought I heard Chank lol.
  
• Hal was mad and concerned this week: can you tell?
  
  
  
  
• Josie is still a solo act and Kevin was . . . there . . .
  

The first half of season two was deliciously dark and i loved it. The second half is jammed packed with mysteries and secrets are coming out left in right. I can’t for the next one. Until next week, stay #RiverdaleStrong!


Well, Riverdale is back. Raise your hand if you've missed having this scandalous teen drama in your life... *raises both hands*

There were so many things going on in this episode. Veronica has been engaged with Lodge Industries pretty heavily lately, so we have the pleasure of seeing a very confident and leadership driven Ronnie. Archie has somehow managed to be recruited by the FBI. Betty is on another mission to make someone else happy. Let me start there.

Betty's expeditions might be super annoying if she weren't always going on them to please other people. She has the best heart. She wants everyone around her to be happy and I think she forgets to just do for herself. So when Polly crept into the family home to gather her belongings so she could sneak back to her new born Blossoms (she told no one she had them), Betty knew their mother would be crushed. Alice is really excited about the new babies, so to take her mind away from Polly, Betty decides to find her long lost brother because that will somehow make Polly's absence more bearable? Just replace Polly with the son and all is good, is what Betty must have been thinking. I don't get it. It doesn't matter. Alice likes the idea.

So Betty contacts a social worker and manages to score the last address her brother was attached to. They find him and to no one's surprise he wants nothing to do with them since he wasn't wanted. Betty isn't very good at letting things go, though, because she wants to make things right all the time, it's kind of her "thing", so she goes back. Perfect timing, too, since he is in the middle of getting beat up. She whips her pepper spray from her purse and gives the perpetrator a good spritz to the face. Betty and new brother have just enough time to make their escape to the Coopermobile and they drive home. And they lived happily ever after.

No, they probably won't. Even though the Coopers doctor new brother up and stick him in Polly's bed for the night, he wakes up and slips into Betty's room to watch her sleep.

Maybe watching Betty sleep just makes him feel peaceful, but I somehow seriously doubt it.

I somehow seriously doubt an FBI agent would recruit Archie Andrews to help him with a case too. Whoa! That transition was fast. But really, Archie? Archie is a lot of things, but the sharpest tool in the drawer he is not, right? Here's the thing, I don't trust Archie when he bites off more than he can chew, and I think helping a supposed FBI agent is a gigantic chewy bite of the biggest chewiest granola bar there ever was. You know, the kind that makes your jaws sore after having crunched up the particles just enough to pass down the esophagus? That's the big bite Archie has just taken and as of right now he's still chewing.

So this agent has contacted Archie to help him take down the Lodge family so he starts giving Archie missions, starting with the mission to find out if Hiram had anything to do with Nick St. Clair's "accident" that left him badly injured. Archie teams up with Cheryl to try and find out. He ends up kind of blowing his cover by beating Nick up when he goes to demand another check be made out to Cheryl for trying to rape her. But, nevertheless, the FBI agent still wants to continue to work with Archie to bring Hiram down. I wasn't super invested in their story until Archie brought up the hood towards the end of the episode. He asked the agent if he thought they got the wrong guy. Duh Duh Duh! We all know they got the wrong guy. I don't really care how long they drag that reveal out, I'm just glad they addressed it in this episode.

While I don't trust Archie to handle himself once he's taken a nice big chomp of chewy granola, I do trust Veronica to take care of herself once she's gotten in too deep. Ronnie is a Lodge, she's dealt with shady shit her whole life. She has such a tactical mind. Her new role at Lodge Industries seems to have bolstered Ronnie's confidence, because she is starting to take charge at school too. The Southside students were transferred to Riverdale because their school is considered dangerous and toxic due to a meth lab that was in the basement. No lab existed, this is all part of a deal to get the Lodge's the land that Southside high sits on, and the mayor will benefit heavily by receiving a large donation to her campaign, compliments of Hiram and Hermione. It's all so political. Anyway, Ronnie seems to be the adviser for the new students coming into Riverdale High, instead of an actual adviser or school counselor or something, because why would that make sense? She does a pretty good job until Reggie stirs stuff up and makes the transition for the new students difficult as hell.

Reggie is a jerk. He has no tolerance for the new students and he defaces the school seal so he can blame it on the new serpents at Riverdale. Principal Weatherbee is really stupid. As transparent as Reggie is, Veronica even points it out, he believes Reggie did not paint a big serpent "s" over the Riverdale seal. He decides the serpents should be punished by making them leave their "skins", or their jackets, at home while at school. I ask, what's the real difference between Serpent jackets and letteman jackets that the jocks wear? I mean, I know the letterman jackets represent the school, but they both just bond a group of individuals, yeah? Whatever. I'm with the serpents on this one, especially since before all was said and done they were all forced to wear a Riverdale uniform.

It is amusing to see Sweet Pea in that getup though.

So here we are. Sweet Pea is in khakis, Betty is about to be murdered in her bed by new brother, Archie is still stupid, and Penelope Blossom is a prostitute. Did I forget to mention that?

Where will we be next week? I'm excited to find out!