OUAT 6.1 The Savior

• As I sat down to watch OUAT for a hot minute I forgot where left off last season? Did another purple cloud swoop through town, wreaking chaos or did some other Disney movie crash into Storybrook? Then I remembered! Two Reginas! Two Reginas are always better than 1, right? The answer is always yes. Also, I am really tired of all the ABC promos of “a whole new world!” We get it, we’re also doing Aladdin this year! Enough!

  

  A Whole New World . . . 

The A story Emma’s Dilemma

• We begin many years ago in some unknown land where we meet disease struck Aladdin and Jafar. I am seriously disappointed we didn’t get a “Many years ago, 10 years Later, Present Day title card.  
• So, we begin with a very ew #CaptainSwan Moment that is interrupted by the arrival of all the untold stories on a steampunk blimp. The blimp crashes into the forest. Don’t worry, all of the untold stories scattered into the woods, leaving only the steampunk ship crash remains for Emma, her family and true love Regina to find. Oh, and Hook was there too. Emma touched something and got a shaky premonition about her doing battle with a hooded person. Then her hand shook uncontrollably like Aladdin’s did. Everyone easily confronts Dr. Hyde, who’s too strong to be taken down by Emma and Regina because Regina got rid of her bad side (and apparently half of her power).

  

  #SwanQueen Power Fail!

• The gang, with Dr. Jeckle’s help quickly come up with what is essentially a powerful stun gun to take down Hyde, but not before Emma has another shakey premonition and nearly costs Regina her life. Hyde notices Emma’s hand and later he tells her to find a red bird and follow it. This must be easy since we’ve only seen blue birds in Storybrook, ala Snow White. Emma does and she finds an oracle who shows her the premonition in it’s entirety; Emma will die battling this hooded figure who is a villain. All Savior’s must die by the hands of a villain, her family watches (without helping) and she tells Emma that she can change how she get’s to that point but the battle and her death are unavoidable.  

  

  We're just going to watch instead of help . . .

The B Story Rumple and Belle in a Box Redo

Rumple and Belle out of the Box 

• Hyde had told Rumple a way to invade Belle’s dream so he can wake her but her had to travel to the temple of Morpheus to do so. Morpheus tells him how but sets a time limit. Belle dreams of when she was Rumpelstiltskin's servant, therefore she only only see’s Gold as Rumple. He decides to make her fall in love with him again by doing the one thing that always sills the deal: dancing to the beauty and the best for like the tenth time . . . Once Rumple gives Belle true love’s kiss she remembers all and rejects him again. Morpheus shows up, even though there is still a little time left, but reveals he isn’t actually Morpheus, but Rumple and Belle’s unborn son. First, he is completely accent-less even though both of his parents have some sort of one. He warns his mother not to trust his father and then he gives her true love’s kiss and wakes up his mother. Belle once again wants nothing to do with Rumple.

Belle and Rumple's son looks more like . . .

This guy!

The C Story Sisters No More

Regina and Zelena's relationship wen up in smoke, lieterally . . .

• Zelena moved in with Regina and within two minutes, the show destroyed their relationship over Robin Hood, of all people, and sent Zelena back to her Kansas Farm house, where the evil queen waits. Since good Regina will not be her sister, the evil queen will! End show!

  

  "Apple-tini?" the Evil Queen

***Extra Tidbits***

• Archie and Pongo cameo’d.

  

  "Remember when I mattered?"- Archie

• It took Charming and Snow all day to kind of find a ship full of people in the woods in the very small, confined town of Storybrook.
• Snow White literally said this “They don’t trust us,” then promptly shouted “My name is Snow White and you can trust me!” That’s completely trustworthy . . .
• In the this Season Preview we will watch the untold stories of Aladdin and Jasmin, Cinderella and more . . . I hope that includes Aurora and her ghost husband who conceived just in time to break Mulan’s heart- I mean we’re going to see Cinderella again after all . . .

OK, I'm already concerned. 

I don't understand time in the OUAT world. It got really bad in season three with the introductions of new realms and just completely stopped making sense by season four. What does "a long time ago" mean in this show?

Anyway, a long time ago and somewhere far away, Aladdin is the savior. He's hanging out in his tent when Jafar shows up and turns one of his friends to dust, and he knocks another one unconscious. Aladdin tells Jafar to kill him, but Jafar just wants to tell Aladdin that, because he is the savior, he will not be able to live happily ever after (here we go again with the happy endings), and that's pretty much it. What was the point? Why obliterate someone and conk another out just to tell Aladdin that he will live a miserable life? He could have let the spares hear that, couldn't he? I don't know. I guess for dramatic effect and the setup of Emma's new story, this was necessary. 

Flash forward in time and to another realm and a big floating ship from the land of untold stories skims the skies of Storybrooke. The whole town is attempting to track it when they eventually meet in a big field where they question the new ship together. Mr. Hyde is also there. It's at this time that he tells the citizens of Storybrooke that Gold pretty much gave the town to Hyde in exchange for information on how to wake Belle. I didn't really know the town was Gold's to give, but whatever. Emma and Regina decide to team up to trap Hyde. They act like they are going to let the rest of the team (Charmings, Hook, Henry, Zelena) be included, but they pretty much take care of it on their own.

However, there was a bit of a hiccup. And now we are introduced to Emma's conflict for the season, or half the season; I really don't know how long this will drag on. Prepare to see this face a lot.

Swan Queen is attempting to subdue Mr. Hyde, but Emma falters. With a little encouragement from her love, she finds the strength to aim the baton at Hyde and he is captured. They snap a pair of plastic handcuffs on him and send him to a cell. But now we know that Emma is experiencing a shaky right hand and visions of a fight with a hooded figure. What could it mean?

It means we are going to have another season of the Charmings and Hook desperately trying to figure out what is wrong with Emma. It's started already in this episode. The Charmings sent Archie to hunt down Emma and force therapy on her. The Charmings know best, don't they? Emma wasn't really feeling it; she asked Archie for some drugs and then faked her interest in sessions with the cricket.

Emma knew Archie couldn't tell her what her visions were about so she went to visit Hyde, who just before being captured murmured something about her tremors and how he knew more about them than she did. He told her to follow some bird, which she did...

and she met an oracle who told her the same thing Jafar told Aladdin. Emma will not get her happy ending. She has an enemy and the enemy will kill her in the same way that her visions show.

In the middle of the street while the Charmings, Hook and Henry watch.

The Charmings didn't have time to talk to their daughter about any of this because they had to track down the blimp people that landed in the woods. It literally took them all night, and when they did find them Snow encouraged them to find their way to Granny's for food and shelter.

The Charmings then scurry off into the dark forest toward town.

It's funny, though, because it took the Charmings all night to find these people who must have been very deep in the Storybrooke woods, and yet these strangers to this new land found their way out and to Granny's in no time. Although, we all know the Charmings aren't the brightest bulbs in the box, so it's entirely possible it took them all night to locate a big group of people that were hiding out no less than 50 yards from Granny's diner.

There is also a Rumple/Belle story going on during this episode.

Belle is stuck in a dream state that is set in Rumple's old mansion that is now covered in fuzzy bright dream orbs. We all know that Rumple is desperately trying to wake her since she's pregnant with their baby, but Rumple isn't able to wake her himself. He takes Hyde's tip and he finds some sand to sprinkle on himself so he can join Belle in her dream, I think. The problem is Belle is mentally stuck in the past so she still fears Rumple and thinks she's his servant. Lucky for Rumple, Morpheus is there to guide him through the dream place, and he informs Rumple that he has limited time to make Belle fall for him again and wake her. She eventually remembers that she loves Rumple, but she also remembers all of his lies. Morpheus then reveals that he is their son and he warns Belle about her husband. He doesn't want her to let Rumple ruin their family the way he did his last family.

My favorite part about this whole story was the reveal of Morpheus as their son. Someone must really think that Robert Carlyle and Giles Matthey look a lot alike.

Focus on Carlyle

Focus on Matthey

Focus on Carlyle again

It was mildly entertaining.

Anyway, Belle received true love's kiss from her son and was able to wake up. She told Rumple she would not be starting a life with him back home and she walked through the portal (?) back to Storybrooke. I am guessing Rumple will eventually follow, but at the end of this episode he was still moping back in the transitional room to Belle's dream place.

That's all I got this week. Well, that and a few questions that I am excited to see answered.

I really wanna know who Emma's enemy is. I also want to know who these new people are, and if they crossed realms, how did they do this? Will Belle stay strong and stay away from Rumple? Will Hyde stay in his cell?

See you next week!

GMW 3.14 Girl Meets She Don't Like Me

• Since this episode will clearly be about someone not liking Riley, I would hope that Missy returns in some manner, but I have seen the promo and sadly this will not be the case. Little did I know the true MVP of the episode would be Smackle!

  

  MVP

• We begin in school, which is usually a good starting place for the show, where Riley wants to make new friends. Why? I don’t know why, because she has five others that are super close to her and a few good ones are better than many superficial ones, but this is Riley, therefore, everyone must like her. Riley chooses some unsuspecting victim girl in the hall asks to be her friend in only a way that Starfire, from Teen Titans Go! Would ask. The girl says no. Riley proceeds to pout like a four year old rather than a high school student.

  

  Riley Sad!

• The guys arrive and carry the girls to class. Smackle tries to carry Farkle in our first true LOL moment, but she must instead drag him.
• The gang all of health class together (anyone recall this fun class?) where it seems like this is the first day of class, because Riley doesn’t appear to know her teacher, yet they have clearly been in high school for a while now. Riley is afraid the health teacher/coach will not be delicate or sensitive enough.
• Apparently he wasn’t as Riley repeats her lesson at the dinner table because that’s what every teen does. The topic turns to control- enter Topanga, who in GMW logic controls everything in her life, but not everyone can do that. When her daughter tells her someone doesn’t like her, Topanga threatens to have tax attorneys look into the girl’s parent’s past taxes for inconsistencies. Then Riley begs Corey to talk to the coach to make class more the way she wants it.

  

  The look when someone doesn't like your kid . . .

• What could be worse than having an inconsiderate coach as a health teacher? Having your father as your health teacher! I don’t blame the coach for giving his class to Corey, because Corey can do no wrong.
• My favorite part follows: Smackle time! She is becoming my favorite character because she is so fun and has come so far from where we met her. I also love that this is the second time she has to be censored. Let’s see everyone’s reactions to Smackle explaining what I am sure was the bird and the bees . . .

• 

  Smackle teaches the class more than Corey ever has!

  
  

  

  Farkle was horrified while this was nothing Lucas hadn't heard before . . .

  

  Zay had a question . . .

  

  Maya was intrigued while Riley couldn't believe babies weren't actually delivered by the Stork

  

  Corey couldn't believe the words coming out of Smackle's mouth

  

  Even Auggie was in shock . . .

  Riley has a heart to heart with her mother, where Topanga tells her that life may be trying to shape her into who she is.
• So, Riley asks her friends what they would do? Lucas would smile at them, in only the way that he would smile at Smackle. Zay answers that he moved to NY, which is a backstory I really want to hear!

• 

  That day Farkle realized Lucas was going to take Smakcle away.

  Riley goes back to school, accepting everything is out of her control.
• They release balloons for some reason I forgot because I was too busy laughing at Smackle’s dream about her and Lucas!

  

  The real triangle

• Riley goes back to school, tells the victim girl who doesn’t like her that she still does like her and that’s okay. The victim girl smiles, obviously well on her way to becoming Riley’s friend.

*** Extra Tidbits***

• Corey taught them nothing!
• Auggie is thankful for her parents, sister, his wife Ava . . . LOL!
• Riley telling the girl should would like her, even if the girl didn’t like her would have been a great ending, but instead they do that ridiculous bit where Topanga had the poor girls family sieged by tax lawyers who apparently found out some sketchy stuff, thus ruining the poor girl’s life. She really is a victim of the Matthews family.

IF I WROTE THE EPISODE

I think you’d know what I do. Bring Missy back again to torment Riley, reveal she was the bully we never saw in season two and end it with Riley accepting that she and Missy will never be friends. I would have kept everything about Smackle in this episode because flirty/needs to be censored Smackle is best Smackle and I need more of this if I am expected to sit through lessons that I and most of the viewers learned at a very early age!


Better. So, so much better than last week's episode, for me anyway. I was entertained and I didn't feel too suffocated with lectures. Auggie was used appropriately, Topanga was funny, and let's not forget Smackle Time! I think deep down we all knew she would need to be censored eventually. Not a bad episode at all. 

So, what happened? Well, Riley wants to make a new friend at school. Maya and Riley are people watching when Riley has the idea. Riley, rather obnoxiously, grabs the first girl she sees at her locker, spins her around and proceeds to recruit her as the newest member of Riley Town. The girl doesn't like Riley. I can't really say that I blame her after an aggressively happy girl just disrupted her in between classes. And of course this pretty much wrecks Riley's rainbowed unicorn world, which leaves Maya there to pick up the pieces. And Lucas. Lucas literally picked Riley up off the floor and carried her to health class. 


It's good to know that the kids actually do have other classes with teachers that aren't Cory. Except, wait, Cory would end up teaching this class too; Riley wasn't really feeling the health teacher.

She took one look at him and decided he wouldn't be sensitive enough to teach her or her fellow classmates, so she what did she do? She told her dad. And what did he do? He tried to get his daughter a new teacher. The existing health teacher wasn't really into all this drama so he basically told Cory he could teach the class. Ha. Ha. 

I'm really glad Cory wound up in this situation because the subject matter made him very uncomfortable. It was fun to watch him squirm.

And Smackle Time really pushed Cory over the edge. One big long bleep and Smackle shamelessly illustrating page 73 for the class was probably the best part of this episode. Maya's reactions were my favorites. It's like she was keeping up with Smackle at first and knew exactly what was going on...

But once the instructor went over her head, she grabbed a pencil and began joyfully taking notes.

Everyone else experienced more shock. In the end it was realized that the original teacher, the gym teacher, was most suited for the job. He pops back in when he estimates that they have all had enough of Cory and Smackle, and he gives this wonderful speech about only having control over our own bodies. He goes on to tell them what's healthy and how to rely on their own minds and their bodies. It was awesome. Way to go, man.

Topanga, while she tried, was not able to teach this lesson as well as the health teacher. The whole episode we were reminded that Topanga has a bit of a control problem and that she probably passed it on to her daughter. At one point Maya had to sooth Topanga with her "loo lie lee" song after she found out that someone didn't like Riley.

I liked the way Topanga was used this week. Everything from her entrance to the conclusion of this episode,where we find out that she may have had something to do with a family being convicted of tax evasion, made me laugh. Lots of entertaining moments in this past Friday. I can't say that it was my favorite, but I definitely enjoyed the episode. Thank you, GMW staff. See you back here for the Halloween special!

OUAT Intro.

Once Upon A Time, there was a Windowless Review Blog!

Blogging peeps! Beginning this Monday, in three days, not only will you be able to read reviews of Girl Meets World, but now, we will begin review Once Upon A Time! That’s right, OUAT starts back this Sunday, which means you’ll have a double dose of WindowlesReviews on Mondays! OUAT begins it’s sixth season this weekend, and sadly since there are so many episodes per season, we sadly cannot go back, due to time and our real life, to review the past episodes, but we can catch you up on what we like, dislike, and who we ship! As always our reviews will include spoilers as will this post, so reader beware!

Shane Lee’s Fave OUAT Things:

• I ship: #Swanqueen, (yes I am one of those people, but come on, it’s sooo obvious). I know it will never happen, but i also ship Belle and Hook (more on that later).
• Seasons 1 & 2 were my favorite and I believe we can all generally agree that Neverland took the show down hill. Frozen was not that great either but I really enjoyed Anna and kind of miss her. Else was just there.

  

  When Regina went to hug Emma!

• Regina (Lana Parilla) & Rumple (Robert Carlyle) are the best parts of the show’s and the two strongest actors! If Regina and The Evil Queen have multiple conversations where it is the two of them, I am fine with that!

  

  Regina*2

• I am also really enjoying Rebecca Mader as Zelena and am glad she was resurrected!

  

  The look on Zelena's face when the Charmings show up at the party . . .

• I love the crazy nature of the show and the magic element, and I love that six season in the show can comment on it’s own crazy since it has established now. I also love how sometimes it’s just ridiculous and makes me laugh, even though it may not be the show’s intention.

Shane Lee’s Least Fave OUAT Things:

I just want to preface that I do enjoy this show, but I do not enjoy all things on it!

• The Charmings & Henry- Snow and Charming have become so pretentious and self righteous that I just can’t with them anymore. They aren’t perfect, yet no one will ever be as great as they are! And Henry . . . let’s just say that time Pan and Henry switched bodies was something I was rooting for to remain permanent.

• 

  This magic moment . . .

  Belle- Aside from her never ending trust/distrust in Rumple, this is more of an actor thing. I’m sorry, Emilie de Ravin cannot do or hold accents. In case you didn’t know, Belle is suppose to be French, but she is Australian. It fluctuates and sounds weird. There have even been times that I needed subtexts to understand what she is saying. Season 5 left us with Belle in a box and I hope it stays that way!

  

  Rumple wonders when Belle will pop out of the box!

• The Lack of Continuity- I swear OUAT forgets about characters and things that have happened in the past or things that use to be a big deal, like realm hopping, or remember how strong the Blue fairy use to be? Now they never go to her for help? Or what about when the giant was a thing?

Okay, that’s all I have until the season premiere, in which I hope everyone enjoys!

Girl Meets World 3.13 Girl Meets the Great Lady of New York

• Annnnnnd we’re back after what was it, a two week hiatus? I still can’t help but to wonder will this next episode be another one shown out of sequence before ski lodge? Will they acknowledge Rucas or Zaya or will they be back in middle school with a turtleneck wearing Farkle? Who knows?
• Here we go! So, we begin in Corey's classroom where I immediately notice no Smackle. Corey rambles something about the Statue of Liberty, Maya and Farkle make faces at each other and then it’s culture week! Nigel, you know that kid in class every week that say something . . . no not Yogi, not Sarah or Darcy, you know Nigel- his grandma is having a booth at the fair. Corey gives them an assignment to find out their heritage, but this is all he literally tells them to do (this is important later.)

  

  Where does Smackle go? Where is Marley?

• So, Riley goes home and asks Topanga about her heritage to which she is told they are “multi-generational Americans” you know, Native Americans- oh wait, they’re not!

• 

  Riley's face when her parents will not tell her the family heritage.

  The next day at school, after her parents only told her they come from cream cheese, Riley repeated the same thing in class, much to Corey’s horror, but Riley realized she was American cheese and threw some at everyone (this generally makes me laugh because I feel her frustration).

  

  "I am more than cheese, dad!" - Riley

• Maya, Zay and Lucas were all stereotypical with their reports too and Corey was aghast that no one understood the assignment when he had given such simple, undetailed directions. (See, told you that would be important). Farkle needs more time with the assignment, and since no one did it correctly, Corey grants them all a redo.

  

  Product placement

• Next we go to Topanga’s, where the kids are all trying to do their homework, because I guess all of their parents refused to help them. We get a bit about Riley apologizing the Zay’s grandmother for eating the cookie, which I like because I love continuity. It’s just too bad the cookie is all the writers remember and not the relationships.

  

  Still not acknowledging Rucas . . .

• Then we got this picture . . . 

  

  #Zaya
• Now it’s the day of the culture fair. Riley and company go to the Cambodia booth first to hear a story about how Nigel’s grandmother escaped the country. This resonates with Farkle. Zay of all people, notices that Farkle has been super quiet. Something is up with him and I don’t like this seemingly sad Farkle.

  

  They are friends!

• After having been given a more detailed assignment with actual instructions, Maya and Riley re-give their presentations. Since her parents decided to pretend their family was in America before anyone else, Riley went with the whole I am America thing. Zay once again notices Farkle did not give a presentation and Farkle finally tells them: his great grandfather escaped the Jewish concentration camps but was the only member of his family to survive. He adopted the name Minkus after the family that helped him. This should have been the focus of the episode!

  

  Riley rushes to her future beau's aid when he needs comfort!

***Extras and Tidbits***

• So, Auggie had a story that should have been about being stereo typically racist.

  

  She's clearly from Cuba . . .

• OMG guys, there was no bay window in this episode! Did they actually forget it? I mean I’m seriously surprised the culture fair didn’t take place in it!
• Speaking of bay windows, who fire escape are Corey, Topanga and Auggie on in the opening when they pour water on Riley, Farkle, Maya and Lucas?

  

  Not the bay window . . .

• Please give us more of Farkle and Zay as friends. Zay being friends with Farkle is more real than anything he has ever done with Lucas.

IF I WROTE THE EPISODE

I can’t even with these anymore you guys. The focus should have Farkle and Zay and would make for a great episode. Why did we have to suffer through Auggie and Ava yet again when it really adds nothing? I also refuse to believe that the non-Native American Matthews were only ever from America. Their ancestors had to come from somewhere!

While season three started off so well, the episodes being out of order and the constant cramming lessons down our throats are seriously hindering the show. It can be so much better than these last few episodes if only they’d focus on the relationships. If that means the show leaves Disney, then it needs to and ASAP!

I believe Topanga's final look sums up the audience's feelings.

The look on all of our faces when the episode finishes!

Who is Riley Matthews?

You might think that she is a character from the show Girl Meets World. She's the daughter of Cory and Topanga Matthews, world's most perfect parents. Seriously, they NEVER do anything wrong.

She is sister to Auggie Matthews, best friend to Maya Hart, and she is also the girlfriend of Lucas Friar. I, however, am going to disagree.

Riley Matthews is a pawn. Riley Matthews is a spokesperson for Disney and pretty much nothing more. Who was she in episode one compared to who she is today? How much has she developed as a character? For that matter, have any of the characters grown in any way? I'm thinking of Riley, Maya, Lucas, and Farkle from season one and I'm trying to think about how far they have come, but I don't think they have traveled very far at all. I mean Farkle shed his turtle necks and happiness, other than that everyone else is pretty much the same. Someone or someones is/are committed to shoving lessons down the throats of viewers, not that I  mind a lesson to learn being involved, BMW balanced that responsibility with storytelling really well, I just think this show is failing to do the same. I really think the writers have spent more time this season deciding which  life lessons they want to teach rather than how they want to evolve their characters. The characters aren't important anymore; they are completely interchangeable. Throw any other actress or actor in there and it wouldn't matter because the stories are rarely about the characters. Anyone could stand in there and preach their scripture but they choose to suck us in with Riley Matthews and gang. We watch the show because we think it is a spin-off of BMW, instead we get something that is one step up from Dora the Explorer and Blues Clues. I'm seriously waiting for the episode where  Riley starts encouraging viewer participation.  

I needed to get that off my chest. I also do not have much to say about the most recent episode, so this mini vent session will stand as my review. For the most part. I think I can manage a few sentences specifically about this past week's episode. 

Cory and Topanga are super weird and vague about their family's heritage. They annoyingly refuse to supply Riley with information on their family history.

Auggie and Ava are forced in with a new friend. New friend will never be in another episode again. I'm sure the ever obnoxious Doy will find his way back to the show though.

Lucas isn't important enough to spend time on. Lucas stands around most of this episode. Why was he even here? 

Maya has Irish ancestors. 

Zay and Farkle bond over their oppressed ancestors. I'm glad this happened. I have no qualms about their situations, except that I wish they had spent the entire episode on these two. 

Done. See you next week for Girl Meets I'm Too Old for This Show.