- Juggy is our narrator as he explains it’s only been 1 week Riverdale time since the discovery of Jason Blossom’s body. Juggy then drops the hint that Jason is not the last victim. Who else will bite the dust? Will be another Kool-Aid colored hair person or the advertised focal point of the tonight’s episode, Grundy aka #NotFelicity?
RAWR! - After watching a concert of his teacher/lover, Archie is mortified when his dad, Luke Perry asks his teacher-lover to dinner, a meal that is on them. #Awkward
- At Pop’s diner, Juggy sits with B&V and Kevin and is upset by the Drive-In, his place of employment is being closed, soon to be demolished.
- Juggy also calls B Betts, which is adorable because I am really rooting for them as a couple.
They're praying that they end up together! - Enter the most awkward father/son/teacher date ever!
Every father and son date the same teacher, right? - Betty confronts Archie about being at the River the day Jason was murdered, as was Grundy’s car, so she asks if they were together. Looselips, I mean Archie, wants to know if Juggy told her everything and it doesn’t take B long to put 2&2 together and realize that Archie is having a forbidden affair with his teacher, something that V also overhears.
"You have a BootyTutor?"- V - V also gives Grundy a new name that I will call her from now on- BootyTutor
- Chreyl is also in the diner and full on Chanel Oberlin (see Scream Queens), insulting Hermoine, making fun of V because her mom is a waitress and later snaps a picture of Hermoine talking to a Southside Sea Serpent, a gangbanger, to show to V.
A Kool-Aid colored car for Kool-Aid colored girl! - The next day, B must fight the hoards of students in the music room to interviews Archie’s BooyTutor for a faux article in hopes of getting more dirt on the teacher, LOL J/K no one was in there but the two of them!
"Ms. Grundy, do you teach music or sex ed?" -B - BootyTutor is really vague about her past, but let’s it slip that she also did an independent study with Jason Blossom as well.
- Betty later presents more research to Archie, showing him this version of Geraldine Grundy did not exist until the day she came into Riverdale.
- Unphased by B’s findings, Archie has a secret date with BootyTutor at her house and unbeknownst to them,
B&V break into BooyTutor’s bug where they find a fake ID with yet a different name and a gun, that B takes.
Every student has a teacher-student date night, right? 
"How did they have sexy time in this little bug?" -B - Elsewhere, Juggy is trying to appeal to Josie’s mom, the mayor, and then Luke Perry to save the drive. Both of them were like “LOL-nope” and then we learn Luke Perry fired Juggy’s father because the papa Juggy was stealing construction supplies.
"Save the Drive-In, LOL no" - Mayor McCoy 
"I'm not saving the drive-in and your daddy is a thief" - Luke Perry - We also see a secret stash of money delivered to the mayor by Hermoine.
"Hey, gurl, got that thing you wanted" -Hermoine - After having been confronted by B&V with their new findings, Archie confronts his BootyTutor who tells him a sad story about an abusive ex-hubby. True or False?
Archie, earning his A, wink, wink - To add even more drama to this episode, B’s parents, specifically her Crazy Pants mother tells Luke Perry that she doesn’t want B to be friends with his Kool-Aid Colored hair son.
- It’s closing night for the drive-in; Cheryl crashes V and Kevin’s night out and does one the one other thing she does aside from being residential mean girl; reminding everyone of her dead twin brother and what he loved to do when he was alive, unprompted. #Moodkiller
"My twin brother and I came here all the time" Cheryl #Twincest - Hermoine and Luke Perry are also hanging out before Hermoine runs to another meeting with the Southside Side Sea Serpent from earlier. Then Luke Perry is dragged away by Crazypants because she found B’s diary and the gun!
When CrazyPants appears outside of your dirty window . . . - V meanwhile witnesses her mother and creepy gangbanger, and Kevin is also approached by a gang member, around his age who looks threatening and may beat him up. To our surprise, this young Southside Sea Serpent, Joaquin, and Kevin have a hot make-out sesh and exchange numbers, starting a new forbidden relationship!
- We reach the climax of the episode which was kind of anticlimactic:
- Archie finds BootyTutor in her classroom, where she had just dismissed a late night music class . . . HA! J/K again, she in that music room alone, like always. He gives her a present and decides to end their forbidden affair.
Flowers, a Bow, or a new gun? - Crazy Pants bursts in, dragging poor B behind along with Luke Perry, confronting the ill fated student/teacher affair. Crazy Pants wants to go public with the news, to embarrass Archie and keep him away from B, but after B threatens to say she made it up and has gone crazy like Polly, all come to agree that they will keep the student-teacher affair secret if the BootyTutor leaves town.
- In the closing shots, Archie cries on Luke Perry’s shoulder and then reenacts Taylor Swifts “You Belong w/me” video.
- BootyTutor, back in full Stacey’s mom attire leaves town, not before checking out some other young stud. And we learn that not only did Juggy live in the drive-in, but his father is the creepy Southside Serpent helping Hermione secure to Drive-in property. End!
*****Extra Tidbits*****
- Hermoine confessed to V that all of her creepy dealings have been so their family business can the drive-in property.
- Juggy’s sister is named Jellybean! LOL!
- Next week: Cheryl throws her brother a creepy memorial! And speaking of Cheryl, I did not hear a hashtag this week!
- Jason is also a residential redhead, but it appears he had to choose the orange Kool-Aid pack for his hair.
- While I still root for Juggy and Betts to end up together, I believe Kevin and Joquin are my new fave couple!
Questions:
- Do you think BootyTutor has a thing for Kool-Aid colored hair boys?
- Is this the last we’ve seen of BootyTutor?
- Where will Juggy live now?
- What is Joquin and kevin’s couple name?
- Who will die next?
The Last Picture
Welcome back, welcome back. Another juicy episode is in the books and I am loving this show! Nearly 30 years old and I sit balled up on the corner of my couch drooling for more every single Thursday night. No shame. Let's get this started.
This week on Riverdale, the newest love triangle was introduced...
Just kidding. I was nervous though, you guys. And I think Arch was too.
This awkward horrible feeling took over my body as I watched Fred ask Grundy out to dinner. And then she accepted! Why? But it ended up being anticlimactic (like her entire story) so nothing really came of it. The trio went to the only diner in town to enjoy a meal and, as luck would have it, Betty and the rest of the gang were there having milkshakes. At this point Betty is already suspicious of Grundy and Archie, so she pulls Archie right out of that diner and confronts him. Yay. I guess. And Veronica follows and she walks into the conversation at the precisely the moment that Archie admits his affair. Thanks to V we now have an awesome nickname for Grundy, and that name is Booty Tutor. LOL.
While Archie is struggling to hold on to his Booty Tutor, Jug is trying to hold on to something in The Last Picture too.
As he eloquently puts it. Jug works at, and we later find out lives in the film room of, the local drive in movie theater. V's dad supposedly sent money from jail to Hermione to purchase the land to be used at their discretion. They paid the mayor off in this deal to guarantee the deal. I think. To be honest, I'm much more into the teen drama and love triangles at this point and if that makes me sound unhinged and a bit ridiculous, then so be it. I can't help myself and I refuse to be ashamed! I'm bordering on the line of hysterical now, somebody please help me!
Someone please help Ms. Grundy, too, because she is more unhinged than I am. Determined Betty, not to be confused with Scary Betty, broke into Grundy's car because she really felt something was off with that woman and she was going to find out. The little blue bug did not disappoint. It was home to a weird box that held the true identity of Grundy, and a gun. Ms. Grundy was originally known as...
The original Geraldine Grundy was an old lady (seriously? no way?) that had died less than ten years ago. Betts breaks the news to Archie, hoping he will see through his girlfriend/teacher, but when he confronts her she tells him the story about how she was married to an abusive man and was forced to move and change her name in order to start over in Riverdale. If possible, it appears Archie might love her more now. Way to go Betty on your backfiring plan. And way to go Betty for keeping an incredibly detailed journal of all of this, because your privacy respecting mother (NOT) would never go through it and read it and use the information to carry out her own personal agenda of ruining Archie and Fred Andrews' social status. I don't really care, but I never really want Alice Cooper to succeed because she's so evil. And I just realized that her name is Alice Cooper. LOL.
So yeah, Archie and Grundy's affair is now known to Fred Andrews and Alice Cooper. They strike up a deal to send her packing and that way Alice won't tell on her. The real reason she doesn't want to tell anymore is because Betty threatens to ruin the Cooper family reputation, and reputation is the most important thing in life to Mrs. Cooper.
To Ms. Grundy, or should I say Ms. Gibson, the most important thing in life is teenage boys. Is anyone else concerned that they let a sexual predator loose into the wild to prey on youngsters? I am. I don't expect a lot morally from Mrs. Cooper, and she was never really concerned with the safety of children anyway, but I was a little bit shocked when Fred agreed to let her leave. C'mon, Fred.
Oh well, it is Riverdale.
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