Welcome back! It's been two weeks since we saw the Riverdale crew and what a rough two weeks without them it was! But they are back and more dramatic than ever, so let's do this review!
I'm learning a lot about the construction bizzzzz, you guyzzzzz. We last left off with Fred Andrews securing the bid for the new project that is happening on the land that Veronica's dad bought. Of course, V's dad doesn't know that his wife has a thing on the side with the owner of the construction company that won the bid...or does he? The day before breaking ground the (I'm assuming) foreman comes to Fred to pull his crew out because Mr. Blossom has offered them a secure two year gig, which can't be turned down since it's steady paying work. When Archie finds out about this he gathers Juggy, Kevin, Moose, and some other guy (seriously who was that other guy, I can't remember) to help out on nights and weekends. The boys and Fred kickoff the project, but shortly after are stalled by some shady guys that show up to destroy their equipment...and Moose's face. I'm glad he's still alive though. He's Kevin's endgame, right? Right.
Just a black eye. And technically probably some broken ribs, but whatever. I'm pretty sure he's back on his feet again within minutes. He has to be because the boys, and by boys I mean Archie, are determined to find out who destroyed their equipment...and Moose's face.
Let's look at this logically first. It makes sense to assume Mr. Blossom immediately since he really kind of threatened Fred earlier in the episode when he bought his crew and told Fred to stay away from that land because it belonged to his family. So he is suspect number one. Suspect number two, and the one that Archie pursues, is the Riverdale biker gang, the Serpents. I wonder what his reasons were? I guess because it's a biker a gang and stereotypically people that ride motorcycles are evil and do bad things. The decision made by Archie to confront the Serpents in their bar showed that he was clearly using his little grey cells. Such a wise decision. Not really. He nearly gets beat up. Juggy's dad comes down from his throne to stop the fight between old man biker and young dumb boy before it begins.
While the boys have been out doing manly things like construction work and brawling in bars, the girls have been planning and attending a baby shower for Polly. Jughead is a special balanced sort of creature; he does construction work and attends the baby shower.
But more on that later. First, Betty and Veronica scheme to get the Coopers and Blossoms to act like mature adults. The nerve of those girls. I mean the Coopers and Blossoms are so concerned that Polly isn't mature enough to raise a baby, all the while those loons act no older than thirteen. Right? Seriously, Polly is gonna be OK as long as they can get their shit together. C'mon parents, you hypocrites! Except Hermione. Hermione is being really supportive and calm. Then again, it's not her daughter that is pregnant with the love child of a rival family. Doesn't matter. Hermione rocks. For now. Moving on...
Betty and Veronica break the baby shower news to Alice. Alice, of course, is anti baby shower at first. The baby shower would signify Polly keeping the baby, and Alice wants Polly to put the baby up for adoption. Betty is doing a good job of handling herself around her mom though, so she was able to talk her into coming to the shower. Ten points to Betty! Isn't this fun, watching Betty learn to navigate the tricky and scary Alice waters? I think so.
The night of the shower comes and momma Cooper AND momma Blossom show up! But before momma Blossom is revealed, Cheryl charges into the room with a crazy expensive and ugly stroller.
All she asks in return is to be named the baby's godmother. Cheryl grows on me every single week. Did anyone catch her "bitchy" shirt earlier this episode?
She would wear that shirt. I love it. But back to the shower...
Granny Blossom, in her rocking chair
and momma Blossom show up just after Cheryl, making the situation tense. So very tense. I love how Alice is trying, though. And she IS trying.
She even gives Polly an incredibly thoughtful gift, her old night light. She had saved it for Polly. She also bonds with Betty during the shower and it's great. At one point granny Blossom dangles some sort of gem over Polly's palm and reveals Polly is carrying twins.
And Alice stands close by as a skeptical observer.
The circus shower doesn't end here, though. Remember when Archie infiltrated the biker bar? And he discovered Jughead's dad is a Serpent? Well, he rushed over to the party to tell Jughead he knew and he also kind of screamed it, so it's hard for me to believe every person at that party doesn't now know that daddy Jughead is a Serpent. Betty knows. Jughead was just as terrified as I was at this.
That's what Archie really wanted to do. He's so jealous of them. He's trying to ruin it, you guys! OH EM GEE! Nah, I don't know, but I'm gonna be a little paranoid.
Speaking of paranoid, Polly needs to be. She decided to accept an invitation from the Blossoms to come and live with them. I don't really know why she trusts them, but she does. She better watch that back once that baby comes out because they are going to poison her. Or drown her in Sweewater River. I don't know. She's gonna die though.
See you next week!
- Riverdale is back and it wasted no time in being good again! You guys, bad decisions were made at every turn, more secrets were revealed and I never thought I’d say this, but maybe Alice “Crazy Pants” Cooper is so crazy!!!
Alice "Not So Crazy Pants" Cooper - We begin with a brief recap of the Polly/Jason forbidden romance that we all know how ended before joining Sheriff Keller questioning Polly about her and Jason’s plans on the day that he died. We really learn nothing new here.
V has just been there these past few episodes! - At school, Betty suggests that they throw Polly a baby shower, but more importantly drops the dreaded “B” word to the group about Juggy and Betts- she told them Juggy was Betty’s boyfriend and Archie raised an eyebrow . . . Somehow, because she was hanging out nearby or something, Crazy Pants confronted B&V at the school but they didn’t back down. While planning for the party we learn that Polly wants both her mother and jason’s mother at the party (I guess because she wants to see bloodshed but then again who could blame her).
When Alice discovered what they really do at school . . . - Hermoine tries to talk some sense into Crazy Pants but she totally did not want to spend any time with Alice which LOL who does?!
Hermoine took one for the team . . . - The other big story from tonight’s episode was Luke Perry construction business failing because Clifford Blossom (Cheryl’s father) is trying to make shady bid for the contract and land of the drive-in, so he steals Fred crew.
CW guys in hard hats! - Archie rounds up some male friends, Juggy, Kevin, Reggie and Moose to help out. This leads to Moose being beaten up when he discovers vandals on the site. So, naturally every blames the Sea Side Serpents.
Poor Moose! - This blame game brings back a character I have missed for a while now, Joquin!!!! We learn he and Kevin are totes BF’s! He takes Archie, Kevin and Moose to a Serpent bar to see if Moose can identify his attackers and Archie ruins everything!
Kevin: Everyone remain cool.
Archie: Hold my drink! - Why must Archie be a douche in every episode? I know it’s essentially his show, but I still cannot like him. I think he’s jealous of Juggy and Betty. He’s generally a douche to one of his friends every week, and this week it was Juggy!
- After being saved by FP (Juggy’s daddy), Archie barges into the baby shower and to confront him about having a father who is also a Southside Serpent.
- Speaking of the baby shower Alice and the lady Blossom’s all showed up! Nana Rose predicted Polly is preggers with twins while both Crazy Pants mothers offered her to come home with them!
She was shocked that she the red strand in her hair is still there! - After the party Polly confides to her sister and mother that her father wanted to pay for an abortion, which leads to Alice, who is no longer acting like a Crazy pants, to confront her husband. Apparently he offered her the same thing when they were younger and he got her pregnant. Alice kicks him out when he refuses to live with Polly’s unborn child.
This is his angry face. It's also his happy, sad, and disappointing face too! - Bughead stay strong from Archie’s revelation and go confront FP about Jason’s murder. While they don’t find the jacket, he claims he is not the killer, which they believe.
#Bughead - As the episode ends. FP and his Serpent friends offer to work for Luke Perry, thus saving his business. FP also let’s Hermoine know that the thugs sent out to damage the site, were sent from her husband, not the Blossoms and now her husband knows about her and Luke Perry being an item.
- We also learn Joquin is only playing Kevin because he’s the sheriff’s son, but Joquin is concerned that Kevin actually has fallen for him. We learn this as FP packs Jason’s Letterman jacket into a bag and gives it to Joquin as insurance.
#Traitor - Finally, Polly decides to go live with . . . . the Blossoms at Thorn Hill in what I am sure will be a mistake.
They're so happy!
***** Extra Tidbits*****
- In case you forgot Archie is officially dating Valerie from Josie and the Pussycats, she shared a scene with her boyfriend for like two seconds.
#CoupleGoals - We also saw Val and Melody from the Pussycats arrive at the baby shower but no Josie. Why does no one like Josie?
- When Cheryl busted into the baby shower with that huge stroller all I was just waiting for her or Nana Rose to scream “Oh yeah!” just like the Kool-Aid man.
"Oh yeah!" Kool-AidCheryl - Now that I know Joquin most likely doesn’t have real feelings for Kevin, I am back to shipping Kevin and Moose!
Questions:
- Where was Josie this week?
- Who ratted on Hermoine and her 90210 boyfriend?
- Now that Polly moved into Thorn Hill, will she have die her hair Kool-Aid red too?
- Will Archie ever stop being a douche?
- Is anyone else wondering at this point if murder just isn’t the past time in Riverdale? Like so many people allude to having killed someone, or wanting to kill someone, maybe their just a have a night like Purge and the Coopers and Blossoms can go at it, the pussycats can run wild, Archie can go after whoever he’s sneering at this week, the south side serpents and police can fight . . . anyone else think this needs to happen?
That’s all for this week, until next time, stay #RiverdaleStrong
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