Monday, March 6, 2017

Riverdale: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

Call DSS on these parents. Someone? Anyone? No? OK, then let's start this review. 

The maple syrup business in Riverdale must be pretty freakin' serious. The Blossoms and the Coopers have been hating each other ever since a sticky situation went down between Cheryl and Betty's grandfathers. Supposedly ol' pappy Blossom killed ol' pappy Cooper, according to Hal, and things have been tense between the clans ever since. But we learned all of this last week. This week we learned that the Coopers, particularly momma Cooper and papa Cooper, are sneaky little liars. No trust should be given to these two at this point and all signs are pointing toward Hal as Jason's killer. Or is that just what they want us to think? Maybe. 

Betty and Juggy were determined to uncover some of the lies that Betty's parents had been feeding her. Betty invited Juggy over for breakfast one morning and when he was able to distract Alice Cooper for a few moments, Betty went through her purse looking for any kind of clues to get them started. She found a name of a sanctuary (should we call it that?) in Alice's check register. Betty and Jughead set off almost immediately to find the place. 


Sisters of Quiet Mercy, sounds Charming. Of course, this where they've been storing Polly! Betty was able to visit with her sister just long enough to find out that 1. Polly is pregnant with Jason's baby. 2. Polly doesn't know that Jason is dead. C. Polly and Jason had planned to meet on the other side of Sweetwater River so that they could run away together and start their family. Polly reveals to Betty that their parents knew about the pregnancy and the plan to run away, and that's why she was sent away. The Coopers failed to mention any of this to Betty, furthering Betty's suspicions of them. And let's be honest, Alice Cooper is a straight up...


this episode. I kind of love it. Seriously, this woman is nuts. And she's mean. When Betty asks her dad if he killed Jason, Alice chimes in with "you think he killed Jason? Your father? You think he has the stomach for that? I wish he'd killed Jason." And she's laughing when she says it. But they have the nerve to call Betty crazy?  


Oh boy. 

In other news, Archie sang a song last night! And he did it on his own. He was auditioning for the Riverdale Variety Show, where he would play his little acoustic guitar and sing a song that he wrote while walking barefoot through the forest with a bluebird on his shoulder and a butterfly on his nose. Nah. He's super kind of pop-ish, right? With a voice destined to be the lead singer of the next big boy band. I know that for sure. What Grundy saw in Archie was his ability to step in at any moment for a Backstreet Boy if ever one of them dies or leaves the group. 

I think I would have been more into Archie's performance if Val had stuck with him. Val was kicked out of the Pussycats just days before by Josie. Josie was being pretty harsh with her group during rehearsal and Val had had enough and Josie had had enough of Val having enough and pretty much just told her she could leave. What Val didn't know was that Josie's father was going to be attending the performance. Josephine's father is a piece of work. He's mean. All of the parents are mean in different ways, and he's mean in the way that he thinks Josie is never good enough as a performer/musician/artist/daughter. But he wears a fedora. Translation? He's super artsy fartsy and creative. The world knows this to be true of fedora wearers. I bet he sleeps in his. 


So he puts a lot of pressure on Josie, which makes Josie put a lot of pressure on Mel and Val, which makes Val fed up, and then Val goes off to make music with Archie. And that's the cause of events, folks. 

But seriously I'm really glad we got to see into Josie's life a bit more. We haven't seen that much of her yet anyway, and I was starting to get curious.  

Veronica actually enjoyed life as a Pussycat in this episode. See, because Val left the group, there was an opening. Veronica had originally agreed to pair up with Archie, but when Val left the Pussycats, Archie snatched her up real quick and basically kind of forgot about Veronica. Veronica, upset and feeling betrayed by her friend, joined the Pussycats. She wasn't just upset about being dropped for Val, though. 


Fred Andrews and Hermione Lodge got kissy kissy for a minute. Fred's business is going under so naturally he needed to hire another employee, Hermione, to be his bookkeeper. The first thing she did once he hired her was tell him his business was not sustainable. This quickly led to a make-out session in front of a bare window. Veronica saw it. She's mad because her mom is still married to her dad. There is also some more juicy drama building between the mother and daughter because Hermione forged Veronica's name on an agreement to give a bid to Fred's business to build the new thing that's going on that prime piece of land that everyone was fighting over a few episodes ago. YESSS! This is getting good. 

Oh, and did I mention Betty and Jughead kissed? I don't think so, but it was awesome! 

Bughead 4EVER! 

See you next week! 

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